Language Mashups
by Dogsrule
Summary: England has done it again. But this time the worlds' languages pay the price! Who can save everyone from a spell that was supposed to make scones taste good! What is the world to do! *crack fic*


Uh..yeah..once again I SHOULD be working on the other stuff..but I HAD to do this after watching the original Batman movie (And it was really really stupid :/) But in the end part of the movie they had all the different country people start talking in a different language from their own native one, so me being me went crack fic time~! :D And that's what created this. XD

And the title and summary…yeah…too much sugar. ^_^;

I don't know Hetalia if I did then I wouldn't have to abuse Google translate like I did for this one. :/

* * *

"Well…I'm sure that it's pointless to say what happened." A British accent voice said with a deep sigh. But instead of coming from the short-tempered (and big browed) Arthur it came from the wavy-haired blond who SHOULD be speaking with a French accent.

"Cela a eu mieux de ne pas être une autre fissure à ma grenouille magique... (This had better not be another crack at my magic frog….)" the now French speaking Arthur shouted as he grabbed Francis's collar.

"Ah..but since you're the one speaking my wonderful language at the moment doesn't that make you the frog love? And it IS your fault for this happening. Why must you try to improve your cooking with magic? It certainly won't help." Francis asked with a perverted smile on his face.

"POURQUOI AVEZ-VOUS-! (WHY YOU-!)"

"Вау! Парни! Охладить! Борьба это не поможет! (Whoa! Dudes! Cool it! Fighting not going to help!)" Alfred exclaimed as he jumped in between the two. "Время, как это требует герой! Даже если я звук, как этот проклятый коммунист прямо сейчас... (Times like this calls for the hero! Even IF I sound like that damn commie right now...)"

"Hero mon cul! Maintenant enfermé idiot damn! (Hero my ass! Now shut up you damn idiot!)"

"Хахаха! Даже если у вас звук, как Франция, вы по-прежнему ведут себя как себя Игги. (HAHAHAHA! Even if you sound like France you still act like yourself Iggy.)"

"ARRETEZ DE M'APPELER ÇA! (STOP CALLING ME THAT!)"

"Oh…" Francis said with another sigh. "will both of you just release your sexual tensions already so I can go back to being my fabulous self?"

"TENSIONS SEXUELLES? QU'EST-CE QUE ÇA VEUT DIRE? (SEXUAL TENSIONS? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?)" "СЕКСУАЛЬНАЯ НАПРЯЖЕННОСТЬ? ЧТО ЭТО ДОЛЖНО ОЗНАЧАТЬ? (SEXUAL TENSIONS? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?)" Both Arthur and Alfred yelled.

"Of course~." Francis replied with a perverted smirk, seems the spell didn't change that.

" *sigh* Почему все должны из наших встреч будет так...? (Why must all of our meetings be like this…?)" Yao asked sighing.

"I find it fun." Ivan chirped as he put his arm around Yao (and making him uncomfortable in the process). "It'll make everything all the more better when everyone becomes one with me~."

Meanwhile on the other side of the room…

"Ve~ warum bist du nicht reden Bruder? Sie haben nichts gesagt, seit heute morgen! (Ve~ why aren't you talking brother? You haven't said anything since this morning!)"

"Vielleicht, weil ich will nicht hören, dass Kartoffeln saugen Bastard die Sprache aus meinem Mund kommen... (Maybe because I don't want to hear that potato sucking bastard's language come out of my mouth…)" Lovino spat as he keep switching glares between Arthur and Ludwig (Like it was his fault he's speaking German now). "Und ihr Mund halten zu verdammt! Ich will nicht zu hören, es aus deinen verdammten Mund auch nicht! (And you shut up too dammit! I don't want to hear it coming from your damn mouth either!)"

"胡〜什么此事Lovi？你不高兴吗？(Aw~ what's the matter Lovi? Are you upset?)" Antonio asked as he bounced over smiling. Then he held out a tomato in front of Lovino and chirped, "谈先生番茄Lovi〜。这会让你感觉更好！(Talk to Mr. Tomato Lovi~. It'll make you feel better!)"

Lovino glared daggers at Antonio then growled, "Was würde mich besser fühlen ist im Moment einige verdammt Bleichmittel so reinige ich kann meinen Mund... (What would make me feel better right now is some damn bleach so I can clean out my mouth….)"

"但Lovi！你有一个可爱的嘴！请

要！(But Lovi! You have a cute mouth! Please don't!)

"Nenn mich nicht niedlich Tomate Bastard! Halt die Klappe schon verdammt! Wenn ich nicht zu reden wollen ficken Ich habe nicht an! (Don't call me cute tomato bastard! Shut up already dammit! If I don't want to fucking talk I don't have to!)"

But at that moment Gilbert chose to walk over to the two Italian (or is it German now..?) brothers. "kesesese qual è il problema? Infine si sta parlando il linguaggio della suggestione. (kesesese what's the problem? Finally you're speaking the language of awesomeness.)"

"Ve~ Hallo Preußen! (Ve~ hi Prussia!)" Feliciano chirped as he waved at Gilbert and Ludwig.

"Gut meinen Arsch... go springen von einer Klippe verdammte Bastard Albino... (Awesome my ass…go jump off a damn cliff albino bastard….)"

Gilbert sadly shook his head no. "Non posso. La mia suggestione non avrebbe lasciato il fantastico me farlo ... ma cos'altro ci si può aspettare da me impressionante? (I can't. My awesomeness wouldn't let the awesome me do that…but what else can you expect from the awesome me?)"

" Fratellone… (brother…)" Ludwig said warningly at his older brother. "Dobbiamo essere concentrati su come ottenere lingue di tutti di nuovo al normale. (We need to be concentrating on getting everyone's languages back to normal.)"

"Sì sì, lo so West. Cavolo... si potrebbe pensare che parlare la lingua Feli sarebbe si allenta un po '... (Yeah yeah, I know West. Jeez…you'd think that speaking Feli's language would loosen you up a little…)" Gilbert replied nonchalantly with a shrug before he walked off in search of the beer he smuggled in.

Sighing Ludwig marched over to the table and slammed his hand down. "Tutti cessare di combattere e ascoltate! (Everyone stop fighting and listen up!)" He shouted before continuing. "Come voi tutti potete vedere grazie alla lingua nativa tutti incantesimo d'Inghilterra è diventato qualcun altro. (As you can all see thanks to England's spell everyone's native language has become someone else's.)"

"No. Wirklich Bastard? Ich habe nie wusste, dass verdammt... (No..really bastard? I never fucking knew that….)" Lovino spat out sarcastically and glared at Ludwig. "Wahrscheinlich ist es deine verdammte Schuld sowieso. Jeder weiß, dass Kartoffel Bastarde immer ficken alles auf. (It's probably your damn fault anyway. Everyone knows that potato bastards always fuck everything up.)"

"Sei nicht wie dieser Bruder zu sprechen! Es ist nicht Ludwig ist schuld! (Don't talk like that brother! It's not Ludwig's fault!)"

"Comunque... (Anyway…)" Ludwig said with a cough. "Qualcuno ha qualche idea su come risolvere questo pasticcio? (Does anyone have any idea about how to fix this mess?)"

"Lo siento Sr. Alemania. No estoy seguro de qué hacer. (I'm sorry Mr. Germany. I'm not sure of what to do.)" Kiku said apologetically.

"No... che va bene. Tutte le altre idee?... Che non comportano supereroi? (No…that's alright. Any other ideas?...that DON'T involve superheroes?)" Ludwig asked and quickly added in the superhero part when he said Alfred start to open his mouth.

"Murder Stirn Bastard... (Murder brow bastard….)" Lovino grumbled under his breath.

"**VEEEE?**"

"Questo è allettante... (That is tempting…)" Ludwig muttered. But then he shook his head and out loud said, "Mi permetta di riformulare. Chi ha un'idea su come risolvere questo problema senza supereroi, il sesso, gli omicidi, o pasta. (Let me rephrase it. Who has an idea about how to fix this without superheroes, sex, murder, or pasta.)" Then he groaned at seeing just about all the hands go down and Feliciano whine a little because they can't use pasta.

"ええと...私はアイデアを持っている。(um…I have an idea.)" A small voice perked up.

"Ve~ Kiku? Warst du das? (Ve~ Kiku? Was that you?)" Feliciano asked as he looked over at the Japanese man who looked just as shocked as the rest of them.

"N-No... no era yo... (N-No…It wasn't me….)" He replied, then started scanning the room for the voice. "¿Quién era ese...? (Who was that…?)"

"私の... (Me…)" The voice said again, seemingly coming from a seat with a floating polar bear on it. "私はカナダです... (I'm Canada…)" They said as a blond who looked similar to Alfred suddenly appeared making them all jump back in shock.

But Alfred was the first to calm down and he let out a loud laugh. "О! Мэтти! Когда ты здесь, чувак? (Oh! Mattie! When did you get here dude?)"

Matthew let out a depressed sigh and whispered, "私はずっとここにアルフレッドだった... (I was here the whole time Alfred…)"

"О... (Oh…)" Alfred said with a sheepish laugh. "Я полностью понял, что чувак. (I totally knew that dude.)"

"Così che cosa stavi pensando? (So what were you thinking?)" Ludwig asked, maybe this stranger would be able to help…

"う-うーん...よ-よくは...アーサーはちょうど別の呪文を唱えることができませんでした？ことは、それを解決しないでしょうか？(U-Um…w-well….couldn't Arthur just cast another spell? Wouldn't that fix it?)" Matthew stuttered, feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the eyes on him.

Hearing that everyone (except Feliciano since he was still trying to figure out who Matthew was) facepalmed.

"Warum zum Teufel nicht, dass jemand der schon denken...? (Why the hell didn't anyone else think of that already…?)" Lovino groaned.

"Я бы! (I would've!)" Alfred chirped and struck a pose. "Я герой! (I'm the hero!)"

"Non, vous n'êtes pas vous-! (No you're not you-!)"

"Basta! (Enough!)" Ludwig shouted cutting Arthur off. Then he got right up in his face and said, "Ora... tu sei a destra indietro e prendere un'altra magia o qualcosa per risolvere questo problema... giusto? (Now…you're go right back and get another spell or something to fix this…right?)"

Despite the Italian coming from Ludwig Arthur paled and nodded. "O-Oui.. Je-je vais le faire tout de suite! (Y-Yes..I-I'll do it right away!)" Then he immediately headed out of the room followed by Alfred who was curious about what he was doing.

Ludwig gave a small nod, followed by a sigh, and said, "Va bene. Questa riunione è aggiornata. Avete il resto della giornata a fare quello che ti piace, ma stare lontano dall'Inghilterra fino a che non fissa l'incantesimo. (Okay. This meeting is adjourned. You have the rest of the day to do what you like, but stay away from England until he fixes the spell.)" Then he walked out with Feliciano clutching his arm rambling in rapid German about pasta. Maybe Gilbert had already found that beer….

...

The next day Lovino woke up with Antonio right beside him (how the hell did he even get there anyway). "Oi..tomato bastard. Wake up already dammit."

Instead of waking up Antonio rolled over and wrapped his arms around Lovino's waist. "I don't wanna get up Lovi…siestas are nice!"

"I don't care! Get up!" Then he raised his arm to smack Antonio on the head but stopped. "W-Why do you have bull ears and horns…?"

That made Antonio wake up. "Huh…I don't know…" He said as he reached up feeling the new appendages and also feeling the new tail behind him. Then he looked at Lovino and laughed. "You have gato ears Lovi~."

"C-Che cosa…?" Lovino stuttered and then felt the said cat ears. "T-There's…" He stuttered reaching around the feel the cat tail too. Then his glare darkened and he shouted, "BRRRROOOOWWWW BBBBASSSSTTTTAAARRRDDDDD!"

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And that's the end of the (sugar/Batman induced) crack fic! XD Language abuse is fun. XD Just don't ask where animal stuff came from…I has no clue… :/

But here's a list of who's language was switched with who's:

America - Russian

England - French

Canada - Japanese

Italy - German

Romano - German

Spain - Chinese

Germany- Italian

Prussia - Italian

Japan - Spanish

China - Russian

Russia - American English

France - British English

Is all. ^_^ Tell me what ya think! Dogsrule out! (=ヮ=)৩ (≧ワ≦)ᕤ


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